On the road again

Tonight we had a wrestling match out in Eagan. After getting the wrong directions on mapquest and going to the wrong school, then getting the wrong directions from 3 strangers at gas stations, we finally got to the the school an hour late, 30 minutes after the match was to begin. To top it off, Timmy didn't even get to wrestle since he's JV and Tyler didnt' get to wrestle the first meet...only the second and that lasted a whole 30 seconds. Was it worth it? The frustration, the yelling, the embarrassment, the gas money, the TIME? Sure, why not. Tyler lost and lost quickly, but we were there with him and for that I'm proud.

Went to the dr. today with Trae. Trae...sigh....our drama queen. He is so endearing and so silly and so afraid and so tightly wound all at once. It's the latter 2 traits that have us worried lately. His nightly anxiety and fear have become something we're at a loss as to how to handle. His personality has, I feel, manifested itself in the form of headaches. He makes me constantly recall the story of the boy who cried wolf because I have to continuously filter out what it real and what is Trae being Trae. I got this bad stomach feeling last night after Jason called me at work to tell me he was curled up in a ball and vomiting from his headache. I started to wonder if we'd waited all this time, a couple months for sure, chalking this up to an emotional response only to find that there really was something wrong. By the time the dr. asked a ton of questions and checked him over thoroughly I got the impression she wasn't worried about a nuerological problem. We are supposed to watch and document his headaches and reactions to them for a month to see if we can pinpoint exactly what the cause is.
Tonight as I tucked him in to bed and within seconds saw him getting upset and starting to go into his scared behavior, something hit me like a ton of bricks. It occurred to me that this never happened until he "lost" his blankie. I found it days later and put it up in our closet thinking it would be a good time to just let the habit go aside. Did we take away such a strong security for him that it created this fearful, anxious child I see before me now? Would giving it back to him be the cure for all of this? I wonder. The thought was to get him to stop having it so he would stop sucking his thumb, but again....a security gone leaving only INsecurity. I suddenly felt stupid and cruel that an overbite from thumbsucking had taken presidence over his emotional well being. I wasted no time in getting it from the closet and to say his face lit up is an understatement. He turned back towards his bed, climbed in with his long lost friend bunched up under his chin and had a smile on his face for the first time at night in a long time. Lord, please let it be this simple. Let this be the start of some stability for him and healing.

Lighthearted moment of the day....today at lunch my mom told Tony and Tanner they had to eat as many bites as their age. "Tanner, you have to eat 3 bites...and Tony, how old are you?" holding up a finger he matter of factly said "one".