I am just writing this cuz I've been trying to process it all since Tues. In the morning, I got notice from one of the daycare parents who's child I've watched for over a year and then in the afternoon, I got notice from another girl I take care of. Both had job and circumstance changes that prompted them to have to leave. So...just like that I'm down that money every month. Money that we save for our adoption, money that makes it a little easier to put up with even doing daycare when Lord knows I'd rather not, money that has to be replaced somehow or I'll have to do this longer. So, that last option is not even an option....I'm not doing this longer. I could replace them, but that would be rediculous too for only 5 months...I"m not doing that.
By Tues. night, I was telling myself I would just quit and figure out how to work extra hours at the salon and make up for it. Then I talked to mom on Wed. and she made me realize that was a hasty decision. So, now I'm at the point of trying to figure out if I can go back to working Fridays during the day and get a backup to watch the only 2 or 3 kids I will have. I'm liking this option the best so far. I've had time to think about it some more and I know I was jumping the gun at first....not that I ever do that....HA!
I know what I really need to do, I really just need to pray about it. I feel so strongly about this adoption and that we are meant to have this child that I have to believe that even this latest event puts us on a better path to get to her, not a harder one. It seems like a roadblock, but I think I need to just trust....have faith. We've come so far with everything. I feel with all my heart that there is a little girl in China that God wants to be a part of our family...so if thats true, why would he discourage us...He wouldn't. I think He's saying "Go this way instead". Am I strong enough to listen?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
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2 comments:
You are so wise, Jen, and it is hard to not spontaneously make a decision when circumstances change so quickly. I am so excited to hear your plans for adoption, honestly I am not surprised...you have always had such an amazing loving spirit. My first thought (suggestion) is to take the time to wait on God for that next move. I have realized lately that sometimes He purposefully pushes us out of comfort zone only to grow us in area of our life that we didn't tap into when we were comfortably maintaining. I trust He will honor desire to do the right thing and in time you will see His direction. Maybe He is preparing you for the next stage of your adoption plans, maybe He is paving the way for a new opportunity in the life of you or your family. Expect positive changes. I will pray for your family, for wisdom, direction, and clarity.
Psalm 38:15 (NIV)
15 I wait for you, O LORD;
you will answer, O Lord my God.
Jenni Z
Jenni, you are just what I needed tonight. Thank you so much.
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