....I can hardly keep my eyes open even when I'm standing up. It's such an awful feeling. I'd give anything to just go up to bed and sleep the rest of the day.
I've been really trying to look at the daycare as a blessing rather than a burden. Instead of dreading the morning rush of kids, I'm saying thank you to God that I have them coming and that I am able to make the money needed for our goals. I know it's a good thing...it's just hard to remember at 6:45 in the morning. I almost don't remember what it was like to not have to work all day. Guess that means I really took it for granted....never again.
The kids are painting right now and my head is pounding. I'm really considering not going into work tonight, but I have a couple clients..one of which I'm styling cuz she has a wedding to attend tomorrow night. We'll see.
Last night, I spent $460 on groceries. Holy Cow...that's a record for me. I can't remember the last time I even did a big shopping though and we were soooo low on things and the pantry was almost empty. Thing is, as much as that is, it's still cheaper than what we've been doing which is getting $20, $60, or even $100 of groceries at a time. It adds up quicker that way.
Tanner is at mom's for the last Thurs. I absolutely hate sending him there the night before. I feel so guilty that I'm here at home taking care of other children while my own has to go away. At least it's over.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
work out
Last night, Jason and I went with Amy D. to get a membership at the new club called Fitness 19. It's only going to be $29 a month for both Jay and I. Can't beat that....that's the sort of price that I can pay even when I don't use the membership. Ha! I'm really going to try to go often. It's small and simple, but it has everything we need to get in shape. We're considering a package with a trainer to work out with for a bit. We'll see.
Lighthearted moment of the day.....Tanner was poking Jason in the car with his chop sticks from the other day when we went to the Japanese restaurant and he said..."Dad, I'm getting you with my pork chops" HA!! I crack up every time he calls them that.
Lighthearted moment of the day.....Tanner was poking Jason in the car with his chop sticks from the other day when we went to the Japanese restaurant and he said..."Dad, I'm getting you with my pork chops" HA!! I crack up every time he calls them that.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Fun weekend
This was a busy weekend. Yesterday was Kaylee's 1st communion and today was Trae's. We celebrated for both with a party at Mindy's last night which worked out well.....we could work it together and then not have to entertain seperately, two days in a row. We got Kaylee a bike for her day.....I was really excited cuz I just found out that hers had broken and so she didn't have one for the summer. It was fun to see her face when Jay brought it upstairs.
This morning I was at Walmart getting something to wear for today. Nothing like waiting til the last minute. I needed to do all this stuff on Friday night, but Jay and I went out instead....that was better.
Today was Trae's big day. He looked so handsome and he's getting so big. He was so nervous in church...he kept saying "oh my gosh, it's almost time" Too cute.
Then when we got back to the pew, he said "that wine was good". I love it..how honest.
Since we celebrated last night with everyone, we decided to just do something with the boys. We went to a fun Japanese restaruant where they cook the food in front of you and put on a good show with knives and fire. The boys LOVED it! Here are some hi-lites!
After going home and changing, we went to the bowling alley to go bowling. The boys loved that too. We gave Trae a boombox and CD and then a cross necklace made for a boy. They were all so grateful and kept thanking us for such a fun day. They're good boys and it was fun to do that for them. Makes me think about how fun it would be to go to Disney World with them and see their faces there.
Lighthearted moment of the day.............It has to be how Tanner kept calling his chopsticks, "pork chops". Too funny! The boys were given kids 'cheater' sticks that had like a spring action so they were easy to use. He used them the whole time and kept saying how much he liked using pork chops to eat his dinner. Ha! I love it.
This morning I was at Walmart getting something to wear for today. Nothing like waiting til the last minute. I needed to do all this stuff on Friday night, but Jay and I went out instead....that was better.
Today was Trae's big day. He looked so handsome and he's getting so big. He was so nervous in church...he kept saying "oh my gosh, it's almost time" Too cute.
Then when we got back to the pew, he said "that wine was good". I love it..how honest.
Since we celebrated last night with everyone, we decided to just do something with the boys. We went to a fun Japanese restaruant where they cook the food in front of you and put on a good show with knives and fire. The boys LOVED it! Here are some hi-lites!
After going home and changing, we went to the bowling alley to go bowling. The boys loved that too. We gave Trae a boombox and CD and then a cross necklace made for a boy. They were all so grateful and kept thanking us for such a fun day. They're good boys and it was fun to do that for them. Makes me think about how fun it would be to go to Disney World with them and see their faces there.
Lighthearted moment of the day.............It has to be how Tanner kept calling his chopsticks, "pork chops". Too funny! The boys were given kids 'cheater' sticks that had like a spring action so they were easy to use. He used them the whole time and kept saying how much he liked using pork chops to eat his dinner. Ha! I love it.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Dear Jesus
Trae wrote this letter to Jesus for his First Communion this weekend. I thought it was so sweet, I esp. like the last line.
--------------------------------------------
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for creating me. Thank you for me having a family. I am kind of nervous and excited for my First Communion, but I k now you will help me. I love you and I will pray to you every day and my class prays to you too. I hope you come down some day. Love, Trae
--------------------------------------------
Last night, Jason and I 'attended' a webinar about adopting from China in less than a year. Holy cow...a year! That's nothing. I'm almost afraid now to get started cuz we can't afford to have it go TOO quickly. Plus, we've got that cruise set for January. I suppose that's only 8 mos. away...but ya never know. I'd hate to have them coincide. That sounds so rediculous..."gee, I hope my vacation doesn't get sidetracked by the arrival of my child" Ha!
Jay and I met for some dinner and bingo on Tues. when I got off or work. It was nice to just have some time to talk and connect. We don't get that often at all....heck, we don't get it ever. All of our interaction these days is in passing or with kids at our feet. I think we're going to go out this friday...we have a free babysitter lined up and a gift card for a nice dinner, so that will be good.
--------------------------------------------
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for creating me. Thank you for me having a family. I am kind of nervous and excited for my First Communion, but I k now you will help me. I love you and I will pray to you every day and my class prays to you too. I hope you come down some day. Love, Trae
--------------------------------------------
Last night, Jason and I 'attended' a webinar about adopting from China in less than a year. Holy cow...a year! That's nothing. I'm almost afraid now to get started cuz we can't afford to have it go TOO quickly. Plus, we've got that cruise set for January. I suppose that's only 8 mos. away...but ya never know. I'd hate to have them coincide. That sounds so rediculous..."gee, I hope my vacation doesn't get sidetracked by the arrival of my child" Ha!
Jay and I met for some dinner and bingo on Tues. when I got off or work. It was nice to just have some time to talk and connect. We don't get that often at all....heck, we don't get it ever. All of our interaction these days is in passing or with kids at our feet. I think we're going to go out this friday...we have a free babysitter lined up and a gift card for a nice dinner, so that will be good.
Monday, April 20, 2009
It's Monday....'nuff said...
Pretty boring day...not much going on. It rained which makes the kids antsy. After all the dc kids left, we took the boys to get new tennis shoes. This is a big deal to them. They get pretty excited for something so simple.
Tyler came home and I asked him how his day went. He pulled out a list from his backpack of things kids had said to him throughout the day. All mean things....Yuck, Tyler's here, wimp, retard, and other nasty things. Not long after, he was telling me about his project that was done for science that he had to present to the class today. As he's telling the story, he says that a lot of the kids told him his was the best......hmmm....I picked up his list of bad things and said "where's THAT on the list?"
"Huh?"
"where are THOSE remarks on this page? Why aren't those on here?"
"I don't know...."
"Well, maybe part of the problem is you're too focused on the negative and not giving anyone a chance when they are nice to you. Maybe there are some nice kids in your class after all...."
"There were 2 girls who told me I was a good artist"
"go write THAT on your list....and any other compliment you just told me"
I'm not minimizing the things that hurt....but if I can get him to remember the positive as well....it might just stick to him more than the bad.
Lighthearted moment of the day.......Tyler coming home from school today and when he came up to me (I was sitting on the couch) he rubbed my face and hair and asked me how I was feeling today. It was so sweet and so sincere.
Tyler came home and I asked him how his day went. He pulled out a list from his backpack of things kids had said to him throughout the day. All mean things....Yuck, Tyler's here, wimp, retard, and other nasty things. Not long after, he was telling me about his project that was done for science that he had to present to the class today. As he's telling the story, he says that a lot of the kids told him his was the best......hmmm....I picked up his list of bad things and said "where's THAT on the list?"
"Huh?"
"where are THOSE remarks on this page? Why aren't those on here?"
"I don't know...."
"Well, maybe part of the problem is you're too focused on the negative and not giving anyone a chance when they are nice to you. Maybe there are some nice kids in your class after all...."
"There were 2 girls who told me I was a good artist"
"go write THAT on your list....and any other compliment you just told me"
I'm not minimizing the things that hurt....but if I can get him to remember the positive as well....it might just stick to him more than the bad.
Lighthearted moment of the day.......Tyler coming home from school today and when he came up to me (I was sitting on the couch) he rubbed my face and hair and asked me how I was feeling today. It was so sweet and so sincere.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
My sweet boy
Yesterday was Tyler's state DI tournament. They didn't place, which means we won't be going to Tennesee next month. They did really well, it was a good season. I had to work in the morning but then Jay came and got me to be there for the awards ceremony. When we arrived and found the kids, Tyler was sitting at the table with one of the other moms and the other kids were all playing ball. I could tell something was wrong, so I asked him to go for a walk. He started to tell me a story of the boys making fun of him not catching the ball much and telling him to be more aggressive, so he was and then knocked over some of them in the meantime. One of the other boys told him to quit being so rough and when Tyler said he was 'just having fun'....the boy said, 'yah, with how many boys?'. It was that comment that really upset him. He said this kid picks on him a lot and has made that reference before. He just sat and cried and said he wanted to lose weight and get in shape. That makes me feel so bad...that he thinks that will solve all his problems. He's not even fat, which I keep trying to tell him, but when put next to the boys his age...he sees the difference.
I said all the things a mom says to help him feel better, but I know it's not going to fix it. Then last night, he started talking to us again and crying. He said he gets picked on every day, but all the kids. I just can't figure it out....he's a nice looking boy, he doesn't act strange, he's a smart kid...I don't understand what's made him a target and neither does he.
I'm going to talk to his teacher on Monday and see if she can help me out...he can't go on like this. Then I'm going to talk to the admin and insist that next year he is put with the 2 boys that he considers his friends (neither of which are in his class this year). It just breaks my heart.
Lighthearted moment of the day......when Tony and Tanner got picked up by grandpa cuz we were at the tournament. When I got to their house to pick them up, they were with him on a walk to the park and to the creek. It was good grandpa time for them.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails.....
...that's what MY little boys are made of.
Good grief, they came in the house with a 'find' today. A spine of some sort...some remnant of an animal or bird long past. I would have been content knowing that was in our backyard..but not the boys. They had to do some searching for more. At the end of an hour looking under leaves in the corner of the yard, they managed to find a tail (fur still attached, thank you very much), a leg bone or something like it, and the monster of all finds.....the skull. Completely intact bones and teeth, just mysteriously detached from it's other little squirrel parts. Oh, they also found some peanut shells.....assumably from the stomach or cheeks. BLAH!
This was better than any adventure money can buy.
The kids are absolutely filthy.....Tomorrow is one of those days where we're gone by 7am and not home until 12 hours later.....I'm starting a diet tomorrow, or is it Sunday....or maybe it's Monday...I can't remember.....and I just finished my 189th budget list...it looks the same as the 188th.
Lighthearted moment of the day.....Tanner in the car on the way to the park asked me if I was proud of him. I said "Yes, I am." "Every day?" he asked. "Every single day"
Tony just came in and stopped before rushing back out, excited to continue with the archiological dig, and said "mom, this is the best day every" Hmm...think it will always be that easy?
Good grief, they came in the house with a 'find' today. A spine of some sort...some remnant of an animal or bird long past. I would have been content knowing that was in our backyard..but not the boys. They had to do some searching for more. At the end of an hour looking under leaves in the corner of the yard, they managed to find a tail (fur still attached, thank you very much), a leg bone or something like it, and the monster of all finds.....the skull. Completely intact bones and teeth, just mysteriously detached from it's other little squirrel parts. Oh, they also found some peanut shells.....assumably from the stomach or cheeks. BLAH!
This was better than any adventure money can buy.
The kids are absolutely filthy.....Tomorrow is one of those days where we're gone by 7am and not home until 12 hours later.....I'm starting a diet tomorrow, or is it Sunday....or maybe it's Monday...I can't remember.....and I just finished my 189th budget list...it looks the same as the 188th.
Lighthearted moment of the day.....Tanner in the car on the way to the park asked me if I was proud of him. I said "Yes, I am." "Every day?" he asked. "Every single day"
Tony just came in and stopped before rushing back out, excited to continue with the archiological dig, and said "mom, this is the best day every" Hmm...think it will always be that easy?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
The spirit of adoption
I just read this today. I love it.
You Know You're An Adoptive Parent When . . .
1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you.
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption.
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adoptedchild's "real" parents.
7. You have ever been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth.(2 years!)
8. You had no idea how you would afford to adopt but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing where God calls you He will provide.
9. You have ever taken an airplane ride half-way around the worldwith a child you just met.
10. You believe God's heart is for adoption.
11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
12. You know what the word "Dossier" means, and you can actuallypronounce it!
13. You have welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
14. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that youadopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have him or her in your life.
-Author unknown
You Know You're An Adoptive Parent When . . .
1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you.
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption.
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adoptedchild's "real" parents.
7. You have ever been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth.(2 years!)
8. You had no idea how you would afford to adopt but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing where God calls you He will provide.
9. You have ever taken an airplane ride half-way around the worldwith a child you just met.
10. You believe God's heart is for adoption.
11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
12. You know what the word "Dossier" means, and you can actuallypronounce it!
13. You have welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
14. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that youadopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have him or her in your life.
-Author unknown
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Spring has sprung
Finally, spring is trying to peak through. I'm so tired of the cold and snow....the sun is a good shot in the arm.
I still haven't called the agency. I"m hesitating and I'm not sure why...nervous that we're not ready, financially, to start the process. I know I'm wrong, but I'm still just cautious about it yet.
Cindy helped with the kids today while I went to the dentist and dr. Got a tooth "fixed"...ahem.. and got some meds for this sinus pressure. No sinus infection, but I was probably on my way there. She gave me some good stuff...should knock me out cold tonight. LOL
Went to the meeting on Monday for the Springfest chairs. I think it'll be fun...a lot of work...but fun.
Jay noticed yesterday that the window of his truck was busted out. It didn't look like an accident at all. Makes me nervous to think someone was vandelizing in our own yard. I don't know what they thought they would find?? There's nothing in there to take and we removed the remote for the garage door, so that's good. Stupid people.
Easter was nice. I had everyone over and mom did an egg hunt in the backyard. Cindy brought mimosas which were yummy and the food was good, so all in all a good day.
I still haven't called the agency. I"m hesitating and I'm not sure why...nervous that we're not ready, financially, to start the process. I know I'm wrong, but I'm still just cautious about it yet.
Cindy helped with the kids today while I went to the dentist and dr. Got a tooth "fixed"...ahem.. and got some meds for this sinus pressure. No sinus infection, but I was probably on my way there. She gave me some good stuff...should knock me out cold tonight. LOL
Went to the meeting on Monday for the Springfest chairs. I think it'll be fun...a lot of work...but fun.
Jay noticed yesterday that the window of his truck was busted out. It didn't look like an accident at all. Makes me nervous to think someone was vandelizing in our own yard. I don't know what they thought they would find?? There's nothing in there to take and we removed the remote for the garage door, so that's good. Stupid people.
Easter was nice. I had everyone over and mom did an egg hunt in the backyard. Cindy brought mimosas which were yummy and the food was good, so all in all a good day.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Back again
I can't believe it's been a year since I last posted. Okay, yes I can. I start stuff like this and then just give it up....no time, no interest, too tired...whatever the reason. But in the past year, so much has changed and in the year to come so much WILL change that I thought it best to start back up and try and hang in there this time.
Let's recap, shall we?
April 08'...last time I posted
May 08'....started doing daycare, began licensing process
Aug 08'....got licensed and started getting kids and making money
Sept 08'....got serious about researching adoptions from all sorts of countries and began to look for agencies
Dec 08'....talked to Helen about China's adoption program and started to fall in love with the idea of a little Asian girl.
Winter 08'-09 full house with daycare and boys....paying off all debt for a fresh start in the spring. Felt drawn more and more to China's waiting children program for adoption.
April 09'....completed all debt repayment! YAY! Now, we can focus on bigger and definately better things!
So, there it is.....our last year in a nutshell. We are now at a point where we can start to realize our dream of adopting. I've known for many years that this was a desire that God had placed in my heart. And amazingly, in all His wisdom, He led me to a man, when I was only 18, who would be so open and loving to the idea as well. What a blessing for our family. I can hardly wait for it all to start happening.
Lighthearted moment of the 'week'....we told the boys on Sunday about our plans for our family. We talked about why mom has been doing daycare and what it will mean for our family in the end. When I said the words "dad and I would like to adopt a little girl".....Timmy just put his face in his hands and started to cry. Trae started to cry and Tyler had tears running down his face. So, of course I started crying...the I look over at Jason and he's wiping HIS eyes. What a bunch of saps we are. LOL Actually, I know what it is....we love our little girl before we've even met her.
The boys at the family reunion...summer 08'
Let's recap, shall we?
April 08'...last time I posted
May 08'....started doing daycare, began licensing process
Aug 08'....got licensed and started getting kids and making money
Sept 08'....got serious about researching adoptions from all sorts of countries and began to look for agencies
Dec 08'....talked to Helen about China's adoption program and started to fall in love with the idea of a little Asian girl.
Winter 08'-09 full house with daycare and boys....paying off all debt for a fresh start in the spring. Felt drawn more and more to China's waiting children program for adoption.
April 09'....completed all debt repayment! YAY! Now, we can focus on bigger and definately better things!
So, there it is.....our last year in a nutshell. We are now at a point where we can start to realize our dream of adopting. I've known for many years that this was a desire that God had placed in my heart. And amazingly, in all His wisdom, He led me to a man, when I was only 18, who would be so open and loving to the idea as well. What a blessing for our family. I can hardly wait for it all to start happening.
Lighthearted moment of the 'week'....we told the boys on Sunday about our plans for our family. We talked about why mom has been doing daycare and what it will mean for our family in the end. When I said the words "dad and I would like to adopt a little girl".....Timmy just put his face in his hands and started to cry. Trae started to cry and Tyler had tears running down his face. So, of course I started crying...the I look over at Jason and he's wiping HIS eyes. What a bunch of saps we are. LOL Actually, I know what it is....we love our little girl before we've even met her.
The boys at the family reunion...summer 08'
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