Sunday Snapshot: Faces

A face can tell a thousand words.
A person can be perfectly quiet and yet, just by looking at their face, you can tell what they're thinking....
....how their feeling.
Livi's face continues to tell a story every day that we have her.
She can't tell us how she's feeling.....
....but we see it in her eyes
A perfect snapshot of her heart
From fear and uncertainty.....

To the beginning of trust......

From the confusion of not knowing what's happening to her.....

To healing and understanding......

....about the smiles of happiness that lay ahead.

Olivia talking

This is a video I caught of Olivia talking to me. Tanner was clearing the table after breakfast and took her milk cup from her spot. She was trying to tell me about it....like she was tattling on him. It was so cute, I had to get it on video.
She tries, but just can't seem to form the words.

Update

Today makes 9 days since Olivia had her lip surgery. It's amazing how well kids just bounce back and you'd never know she was even hurting.
She's been doing really well. Eating, talking up a storm(nothing new that we understand yet), and healing has all gone great. She seems to be having fun with her voice these days. She is always jibber-jabbering about something, even when she's just playing on her own...more than she ever did before. It's like she's having fun seeing what new sounds she can make now with her new lip. Very cute.
We had our check up with the surgeon yesterday morning who agreed that it looks great and is healing nicely. Much to my surprise, we even went ahead and got her next surgery for her palate scheduled. It will be on July 11th. That one will be a little more difficult for her as it is much more invasive than just the lip. That part I am not looking forward to...but it will be nice to get it done and start to get working on her speech.
Just when I thought we were good and all was well, we were at Timmy's baseball game last night and that bubble burst. The game was going long, almost 2 hours, and she was just fine the whole time. Playing and running around. Tanner sat her down and went about 2 feet in front of her to rolled a basketball to her. Just as it got to her, she looked down and WHAM....right in the mouth. I saw the whole thing and it happened in an instant. As soon as I picked her up, she was bleeding quite heavily from her incision under the middle part of her nose. CRAP! I quick went to one of the other moms for reinforcement to see if she had a tissue. She went digging and about 3 other moms quick handed me some. There was blood on my shirt, on her shirt, all over her mouth, nose, chin....everywhere. She was screaming and Tanner felt horrible.
Thankfully, the game was just ending so we were able to get home where I could get it cleaned up enough to see what really happened. I gave her a quick bath and tried to wash it as best as I could. It wasn't that it was terrible, but the skin at that part did open up and was bulging out some. I decided to call the nurse line at the hospital where she had it repaired. I just wasn't sure if they would need to stitch it again or not.
Long story short, she called our Dr. and he said they really wouldn't do anything at this point...just put come ice on it and try and bandage it down with antibiotic cream. We ended up getting some butterfly bandages and so hopefully it will come back into place and heal well. What a crazy night. All this in between Tim's game that went way over on time and then having to quick get home, change, bathe her, call Dr., and get back to school or Tyler's band concert. I swear, I think the phrase "when it rains, it pours" was invented for us.

Finding her voice

Yesterday....

less than 48 hours after having her lip surgery....

and able to put both lips together for the first time in her life.....

Olivia called me mama.

Surgery Success

Yesterday, May 9th, was Olivia's surgery to repair her cleft lip. 
We arrived at the hospital at 11am for her 12:45 surgery. 
She was in by 12:30 and done by 1:45. 
They let me walk her in to the operating room and hold her while they put her to sleep.  I just assumed that she would struggle for a bit when they put the mask on her, but she didn't at all.  In fact, when the dr. came near her with it, she leaned forward and let him without one complaint.  They gave her some nitrus first to relax her as she layed against me, then the medicine to put her to sleep.  It happened very quickly at that point and they took her from me to lay her on the table.  That part was hard to watch.  It was hard to walk out of there and leave her looking so tiny on that big bed, and so vulnerable to what we were doing to her. 
Then we waited.....and prayed. 
It didn't take long for the first surgeon, who was putting tubes in her ears, to come out and say he was done.  This meant the next doctor was now starting on her lip.  It was strange to think about what she would look like when she was finished. 
When the surgery was done, we got to go into the recovery room.
On the way there, the nurse told us 3 things....
...that she was awake
...that she looked amazing
...and that she was "P.O'd" (that's "pissed off", in case you weren't sure)
Our first reaction was utter amazement. We could not get over how different she looked. It's just unbelievable what a difference an hour can make.
She reached for us right away and so I picked her up and started to rock her.
We stayed in recovery for about a half hour until let us go up to her room she would stay overnight in.
Once there, Jay held her for at least an hour as she went back and forth between being awake and upset and asleep. They had her on some morphine, so she was pretty out of it for a while.
By about 2 hours, post-op, she was really starting to look a little better. She just didn't look so foggy and she let me lay in bed with her and put on an Elmo movie, which she loved. She even laughed at one part...that was huge.
As the evening went on, she got more and more like herself.  She ate an entire plate of mac n' cheese, applesauce, and some yogurt.  That was great.  She even took some milk from a sippy cup....wrapping her whole mouth around it for the first time.  Very cool to see.
 Jason had to leave at about 5:15 to go to Tyler's National Junior Honor's Society Ceremony, but he came back afterwards with Cindy and the boys. They were so excited to see her. It was fun to see their faces as they saw her for the first time.
Tony said he was a little "freaked out"...and Tyler got light-headed and had to sit for a bit...but otherwise, it was all love. I think just the blood and all made them a little nervous.
She stayed close to Jay and I for a while, but ventured off the bed when her baby cousin Ben showed up with Pat and Lindsey. They brought her a Dora bath doll that flaps it's tail in the water. She will have a lot of fun with that.
The night went well. I was able to sleep on a pull out chair by her bed side. She slept good except when the nurse kept coming in to check her vitals every 2 hours. That woke both of us up, but luckily she would always fall back to sleep.
She was discharged by 10:15 this morning and has been noticeably happy to be home. She must have wondered what the heck was going on and where the heck we were. She looks even more amazing today as she did yesterday and I know it will only continue to get better and better as it heals. I'm so excited for her.

The morning of her surgery....

PLaying in the waiting room.....

Getting her blood pressure taken....

A bed was ready just for her....

More toys while we wait...

She got to pick out a scented chapstick....

We smelled all the different kinds before picking....

Picking out some new toys.....

Found one......

First post-op pictures.....

er

watching Elmo in bed.....

Her brothers come for a visit....

Playing with her new doll from Pat and Lindsey.....

Our first hospital family picture....

Livi's night before.....

Last night when the boys said goodnight to Olivia, they knew that it would be the last time they saw their sister with her cleft lip open.
We are heading to the hospital at 11am today for a 12:45pm surgery to repair her lip.
We took video and pictures last night to have as our momento of how she once looked.
We've all gotten so used to it in the past 2 mos. It will be strange to see her all fixed up.
I feel bad for her that she has to go through this. It's hard because we cant' explain to her what's happening. But I'm also very excited for this new point in her life.
She will be even more beautiful than she already is.

Sunday Snapshot: Choosing Life

This Mother's Day is more special than usual.
Sure, I have all my plans for sitting around and being waited on.
But today I'm grateful to 2 woman who I've never even met.
My nephew, Ben, and our little Olivia were able to join our families and become our children because 2 women chose life when they didn't have to.
One from America and one from China..both places where, unfortunately, it would have been very easy for them to not carry these precious lives.
What a gift.
One of these mothers can start to find peace with her decision to give her son a better life because she knows the family that adopted him.
One gave up her child in secret, never knowing what her fate would be...only praying it would be more than she could give her. I pray for her and that she is able to sense her little girl's smiles and laughter, love and happiness...and feel peace in her decision.
What an awesome gift they gave.

I think about my mother in law and how she found herself pregnant at 17 in 1971. I wonder....had it been only 2 years later, would there have been someone pressuring her into not choosing life.
Just imagine if that had happened.
I wouldn't have my wonderful husband....a man who I have no doubt God had big plans for from the moment he was conceived.
God knew there would be a Tyler, Timmy, Trae, Tony, and Tanner from this baby growing in his mama 39 yrs ago.
If he hadn't been born, they wouldn't even exist....except in the eyes and heart of God, who had planned on their lives through Jason. Does He cry for all the babies that could have been from all the parents that never were?

So this is what today is really about..right.
Not how we, as moms, can get pampered and spoiled...although I'll take every bit of it.....
At it's core, it's about thanking your mom for life....or thanking your mom for adopting you and choosing YOUR life.
Every life is precious
Every life is planned
Every life is wanted by someone
Every life is a gift from God
Who are we to not give that life a chance

Happy Mother's Day to all who chose to do just that
What a beautiful day.