A child's effort

Jason and I (thanks to my parents who were this way) have always put more weight on our kids' effort than their grades. Grades alone don't tell us what kind of student one is and they certainly don't tell us the sort of kid they are. If one of the boys gets a C and he worked hard to get that C, then we're proud of him. If another got a C and it was because he didn't finish his homework or slacked off on his studies, then that's a problem. We just want them to apply themselves and then do their very best.
Last week, Timmy came home with his report card and had an F in science. We knew it was coming cuz the teacher had sent something home the week prior letting us know. Tim is our boy who has to work the hardest in school. It just doesn't come easy to him...never has and probably never will. He has to work twice as hard as Tyler to get half the grade. So, here's the thing with this F. Because he got a grade lower than a C-, he is suspended from wrestling for 2 weeks. This really sucks. Plain and simple. We are always pretty supportive of the school and it's policies, but this time I'm a little annoyed. I just feel like they need to take into account the student as a whole, not just that letter on his report card. He has no missed homework, he got a B for effort, and he's a good kid...we have no behavior problems with him. He struggles with tests. It's his test grades that have contributed to the F. So, because he's a student who has a hard time testing (as a lot of them do) but he is doing his best, he gets wrestling taken away....something that he is good at and really enjoys. Last night we found out that the final four playoffs are on Tues. He is suspended until next Monday so he'll miss his teams playoffs. Am I the only one who thinks that just sucks!? In fact, the team was 5-0 going into last week and they lost both matches they had on Tues. and Thur. because Timmy and another boy in Timmy's same position, had to give up forfeits in their weight class. So, they ended the season in second place with 5-2. He cried so hard last night about missing the playoffs. I know I'm the mom so I'm biased, but I swear if this was about him not doing his homework or having behavior issues or anything else, I would be totally supportive of the school's decision...I just think this falls into the 'not fair' category. Let's take away the one thing where the kid has some confidence and does well and embarrass him because everyone knows why he's sitting out. He just didn't need this. He's been having such a tough time at school with those couple kids I've talked about....now this. I'm taking my son's side on this one. I'm considering going to the school tomorrow and talking to the asst. principal. Not saying it will change anything...but I think it's important to make my thoughts known. Someone's gotta put another perspective out there for them to think about.....why not me?

We're never too small

God is such a part of my life and yet, I admit with regret, I don't make Him enough of my everyday life. I sometimes think that, too often, I talk to Him when I'm down or hurting or needing something. I pray for my kids and for their safety and health, but even that gets forgotten as heads are spinning and mittens are flying in a rush to get them out to the school bus every morning. I think it and I'll say a quick "God Bless You" as they rush away, then close the door, turn around, and not think about it again. Why is it that I don't have....make....the time like I should for Him and yet, if I were to call on Him, he would not be too busy for me? When I put it that way, it seems like a bad one-sided relationship. And, let's face it, one-sided relationships don't work....ever.
At church on Sunday, I was praying as we all do in church. I pray a lot for the things that weigh on my heart. I pray that I will be a better wife and mother. I pray for continued health of my family. And I am always thankful for everything I have. This Sunday, though, I didn't pray for anything I 'needed'. I was only thankful for my blessings....and I started to speak them to Him. It's easy to give a blanket 'thank you for all my blessings and family' prayer, but specifics really started to easily come to my mind and the more I listed them, the more grateful I was. I began to say these statements, one after another, in my head. As I did, the vision of a person I know appeared in my mind, a different person for every heartache. Someone that, in fact, IS going through these things. So my prayer of gratitude became, at the same time, my prayer for each one of my friends/family members that are suffering in some way or another.

Thank you, Lord, that we don't suffer the heartache of grief and loss.
Thank you, Lord, that we don't suffer the heartache of loneliness.
Thank you, Lord, that we don't suffer the heartache of infertility.
Thank you, Lord, that we don't suffer the heartache of addiction.
Thank you, Lord, that we don't suffer the heartache of poverty.
Thank you, Lord, that we don't suffer the heartache of disease.
Thank you, Lord, that we don't suffer the heartache of joblessness.
Thank you, Lord, that we don't suffer the heartache of divorce.
Thank you, Lord, that we don't suffer the heartache of being a non-believer.

It's hard to complain about anything when you can pray all these things. We live a truly blessed life and I am so grateful.
For my friends and family that do suffer these heartaches, God always has a plan for us. He knows the ache of our heart and hears our every cry. His plan may not be ours.....but it is far greater. I promise you, He is with you in your pain. He doesn't just hear you, He cries with you. He just asks patience as His plan unfolds.
Listen here for His promise.

This and That

Pretty much been our typical week around here. Last night we let Trae have a couple friends sleep over for his birthday. While we were here doing that, Jason was with Mike playing poker at a friends house and Tyler was babysitting his kids. He was so excited to be asked. He did a good job having cleaned up the house and even changing Josh's diaper. I was really proud of him and he was very happy about what he got paid. Mindy paid him as well cuz he was watching Kaylee too....so double duty his first time out. He's getting so big, I can't believe it. I'm not old enough to have a son that is old enough to babysit.

Tomorrow morning, I'm getting our taxes done. I'm anxious to be done with them and see what kind of refund we'll be getting. Jason claims zero all year so they take a lot out of his checks to off-set my being self-employed. Between our deductions and child credits we usually get enough to put a good chunk down on the kids tuition for the upcoming fall. We've done that for years now. I always envy the people who use their return for fun spending....a trip, new furniture, a new TV....but then, I don't really. We make our decision to send them to Catholic school and I wouldn't change that for anything, so instead I look at it as a great blessing that we can use this money to help with that. Besides, I'm thinking we need to take advantage of it while we can this year......looks like our Pres., who wasn't gonna raise taxes on the middle class (no one actually believed that, did they) is just gonna take away our child tax credit instead. Oh, and is also trying to make our charitable donations not deductible anymore. Hmmm...call me crazy, but isn't that just the same as raising? Seems like semantics to me.....but, I digress, this is not a political blog. Just needed a teeny, weeny vent 'bout that. Carry on.

Happy Birthday, Trae-Dogg!

It started with the traditional birthday pancake. I have done this for years on the kids' birthdays. They really love it.


My little middle buddy turned 9 yesterday. I can't believe it, how does this happen so fast. I remember so well when he was born with all that hair. We celebrated mostly on Sunday because between school and a wrestling meet out in Eagan, we weren't going to have much of a chance on Monday. We had cheeseburger croissants cuz that's what he picked for his birthday dinner. The others were pretty happy with his choice, that meal goes over very well among the whole family. Then we did gifts and cake and ice cream. We got him this movie projector thing that you hook up to your DVD player and it projects the movie onto the wall in a huge display. He also got a spark scooter that he's been wanting for a while now, so he was real excited about that.
During dessert time, Jason thought it would be good idea to start spraying Redi Whip on the boys. Before I knew it, they were taking off their shirts and he was making designs on their chests with it. Good Lord, if you ever wondered how sticky Redi Whip can get....douse your kids in it and let it dry. I tried to stay out of it (Lord only knows what design Jay would have tried making on MY chest) but then the boys starting coming up to me and hugging me....all full of the stuff. Needless to say, by the time it was over we all needed baths. Oh well, it was fun.
After dinner we had to try out his one gift. We all got our sleeping bags and pillows and made a bed in the living room and projected a movie onto the wall....it was like 7 x 5 feet...it was actually pretty cool. We had some popcorn and it felt like we were in a real theater. The boys stayed there and slept the night.

sure...why not

This is one of those stories that falls under the category of "you had to be there" but I'll tell it anyway. This was the conversation I overheard in the back of the van last night after wrestling practice.
Trae: (listening to his MP3 and singing along with Journey) "Working hard to get my fill....Everybody wants a GRILL...Playing anything...
Tyler and Timmy: Grill?? What the heck are you talking about, Trae? It's THRILL, not GRILL!
Trae: NO it's not....it's GRILL. Everybody wants a Grill.
Tyler and Timmy: (laughing at him) Trae, why would a song say 'everybody wants a grill'.
Trae: What? Everybody DOES want a grill.
Tyler and Timmy: Oh my gosh, Trae. Mom, which is it?
Me: Trae, it's Thrill.

The best part was hearing Trae totally and seriously defend his position that the word was grill and not understanding why we thought that was so funny. He was laughing by the end too, but I just had to crack up. Too funny!

HUH?

Last night I got home from work a little earlier than usual and picked up some pizza on the way home. This after having a good dinner all prepared in the crock pot, but finding out from Jason that by 7pm it was still not done (it was planned to be done by 5)....I think the crock pot is on it's last leg. Anyhooo.....we were all sitting there eating and Timmy says to me, "Today at recess Tony told a kid that he couldn't come to our school because he was black" **just picture Jay and I with the widest eyes possible** I immediately whispered to Jay out of the corner of my mouth "Don't freak out" He has a tendancy to just get upset and get the kids on the defensive before finding out the whole story. I looked at Tony who had already started crying and was saying it was a joke, he was joking. The first good thing we found out was that this boy did not hear Tony. Thank goodness, check that off the list of phone calls we would be making to apologize.
Here's the conversation (it's easier to tell this way...LOL)
Me: Tony, why would you say that?
Tony: I was just kidding (he's crying this whole time)
Me: That is not a joke, it's never funny to say that to someone. If that boy had heard you, he would have been so hurt by that. He would have told his parents and they would have told Ms. B and Ms. B would have called us and we would be calling that boys parents to apologize. Why would you say that to someone? (I just knew this wasn't the sort of thing he just came up with on his own, and he obviously never heard anything at home that would make him say that)
Tony: It was in a book that Miss Crowly read to us. (still crying...he knew this wasn't good)
Me: Did the book have a black boy get told that same thing by someone?
Tony: Yes
Me: And then did the book talk about how that was wrong and that you shouldn't ever think that way?
Tony: Yes, it said that the boy could go to the school.
Me: Okay...I'm glad to hear that because at least I understand now where you got that from. But Tony, don't ever say anything like that again. It makes absolutely no difference what color someone's skin is. A person with darker skin than yours is exactly the same as you and they can be your friend, they can be your teacher, they can be a policeman, they can even be our President just like Pres. Obama...right?
Tony: I know that mom, I wasn't trying to be mean. (his face looked pitiful this whole time)
Me: I know you didn't, but just know that you can't ever even joke like that. Ya know, when we adopt your little sister she is going to have skin that is darker than yours and she will also have eyes that are different than yours. Would you like it if someone made fun of her eyes?
Tony: No
Me: Me either, that would make her very sad. Now, are you sure this boy didn't hear you?

You get the point. So...that was our dinner conversation. The best part was when this was all done and Jason hadn't said a word during the whole thing. He looked at me and said, "I would have never gotten that whole story....he would have been up in his room and probably writing an apology by now" It was good for him to see that sometimes you gotta dig deep and also give your kids the benefit of the doubt with stuff like this. I mean, we know our kids....we know what stories sound exactly like something they would do and which ones just don't add up...like this one. He told me he was impressed. Ha. Check one for mom.

Can I cry now?

I went to work on Saturday and got home around 1:30. Jason had left before noon for a work meeting so the boys were home for a little while on their own. I walked in the door and Tyler met me in the foyer with a scared look on his face asking, "Did you save that Adoption paper you were writing?" My stomach sank immediately because I knew the answer was one that would mean that I would soon be RE-Doing 2 weeks of work. Part of our adoption home study is something called our family guidelines. It's a compilation of questions about you, your family, your community, your extended family, your schools, your future, your plans for the child you're adopting, etc, etc, etc....It goes on for 4 pages. All questions that you are expected to answer and put together in essay form. Our social worker told us that the average length of the ones people send back are between 10 and 14 pages long.
We received it the last part of December and were really hoping to have it done by the time we went on our cruise, but that just didn't happen. So for the past 2 weeks, we've been taking the chances we have to get it done so we can hand it in and be done with everything we need to complete this first major step in our journey. Since getting our new computer, we haven't had anything other than Notepad to write things like this. When we've used it for the boys' papers, it's been funny in that once we save it, it can't be edited when we open it back up. It's because of this that I was just keeping the page open and leaving it at the bottom of the computer page. Dumb, I know. Trust me, as mad as I was at Tyler for messing with my stuff....I was really more mad at myself for being so stupid.
So, fast forward back to Saturday....3 minutes before I got home....Tyler decided he was going to show Timmy something on the computer (even after getting strict instructions by dad to not touch the computer while we were away) and he pulled up the tab for notepad. When he went to X out of it, it asked if he wanted to save it. Hmmmm....let's see....should I save these 10 pages that mom and dad have been working on.....or should I just ASSUME it's already saved.....Hmmm....I'll take the dangerous route and press DON"T SAVE. With one stroke of one wrong key, it was gone. No recycling bin, no restore, nothing was getting it back. Just 2 more weeks of work on our part will retrieve it. I was too mad to even cry about it. Tyler was very sorry, I know this...but if he hadn't been on the computer (like he was told) and had he not been messing with something that wasn't his, this would not have happened. Course, if I had been smart enough to even just done a copy and paste into an email draft.....something just in case.....this wouldn't have happened either. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter HOW it happened. It did. And now we're back to square one with our essay. UGH!