Emailing Tyler's teachers...

This is the letter I just sent the three 6th grade teachers this morning. I'm not one to get involved too much with school incidents, but when it goes on like it has...it's time to get other adults involved.
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Hello,

I wanted to tell you all what has been going on with Tyler at school. Throughout most of the year, he has been teased and made fun of...everything from being called fat to stupid to gay. As the year has gone on, it's gotten worse. He tells us often about the kids saying he is stupid and dumb and how much this bothers him, esp. since he's a good student. Recently we learned just how often the gay term is used on him. This is obviously a hard thing for a young boy to have to hear from his peers. Yesterday when he said it happened a couple times.....once with one of the girls saying he was gay and once with a boy asking him how it felt to be gay.....I decided that I had to contact you and see if you can help us. This has to stop. We try and talk to him about not listening to it and trying to not let it bother him. I've talked to him about approaching the kids and asking them to please stop. Maybe some of you have heard in the last few weeks about the 2 boys (in totally different states), both in 6th grade, both called gay at school, who committed suicide. I'm not saying Tyler is at a point like that....but it did raise a real red flag with my husband and me about just how much effect these sort of comments can have on a child. My husband has been talking about him switching schools....but I don't think that's the answer.

Tyler is real concerned that if I tell you that somehow then the kids will know he 'told' on them. I assured him that this could be handled in a way that keeps his name out of it. Maybe some talking to the class from you or Ms. McCorkle about those other boys' stories that I just mentioned....let them know just how harmful those sort of words can be. I know you will think of something that can help us and help Tyler have a good last month of school. He's a sweet boy and this just breaks our hearts to see him hurt like this. I look forward to hearing any ideas you have.

Feel free to contact me via email or phone.
Thank you,
Jenny Janisch
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I recieved a message back almost immediately from one asking when this is happening at school, that that would help them.
Then his main homeroom teacher just replied saying how sad she was to hear this is still going on (I had talked to her briefly this winter) and that she thought things were going better for him. She also wanted to know when during school this was happening.
I'm glad they are taking it seriously, I'm tired of him being hurt. Kids can be so mean.

Flowers...for me?

I forgot to mention what Jay did for me on Saturday. He had gone and gotten a really nice boquet of flowers and a balloon to bring to me at work. He pulled up with his gift and went inside my work to find me....only one problem...I'd already left. I had gotten off a little early and left by 1:30. He got there at 1:40...just missing me. Everyone kept telling him how sweet he was and they felt so bad that he missed me. He brought them home for me instead...they are so nice.

busy, busy

It's been a few days. We've been so busy around here....more than usual.
First of all, Timmy's party on Friday night was a big hit. He was very surprised. We had some pizza and headed to Vertical Endeavors for 2 hours of rock climbing. The boys absolutey loved it! We got home by 10:30 and made sundaes and opened presents. Timmy and his friends camped out in the toy room and didn't quiet down until 2am. That didn't stop them from waking by 7:30 though. Geez..
Timmy came up to me at the rock climbing place and said this was the best birthday ever. A far cry from the tears just a few days earlier. :)
Yesterday, after working and then getting garage sale things done, we went to mom's for a Mother's Day dinner....no kids. Somehow it still managed to be loud in the house though. HA! We aren't a quiet family, that's for sure. It was fun to be able to enjoy the conversation and dinner without the interuption of kids there. Is it too early to start crossing off days on the calendar until the cruise?
So, here we are today...Mother's Day. Well, it wasn't exactly how I'd plan it if I had my way...but just because it's a 'holiday' doesn't mean things don't go on as usual. This whole garage sale is stressing me out. I am excited about how much stuff we will have, it's bound to be successful....but the work involved!! Holy cow, I hardly know where to go. I woke up at 7:20am this morning and instead of going back to sleep, I laid there thinking about how I have no idea how I"m going to get this all done and got up. I was out in the garage before 8am and worked until 9:30. It's amazing how much more you can get done on your own sometimes. Tyler did get up and so he was out there helping some too.
I had to get inside to get breakfast started for when Cindy was coming over. We had a nice brunch and then we were going to go to a movie. WE WERE...but that's not exactly what happened.....I made brunch and afterwards, I was so tired I was getting a headache. I literally make myself sick sometimes, it's rediculous. I told Jay that I just didn't think I could sit through a movie. So, instead, he and Cindy went and I went up to bed. I took a nap until 4:30pm. As nice as that was, I woke up all stressed because I had wanted to spend some time with the boys before having to go in the garage again. Plus, we were going to 5:30 mass at Epiphany. All in all, a lot got done for the sale. The whole garage got organized in the 3rd stall which was huge! I've got all the big stuff priced, now I just have to go through all the little things and price those. I'm still wondering how we get it all in the garage once Mindy brings over her stuff and Chuck and Amy. It's been really nice to have everyone help us out by giving us stuff though....can't complain about that. I just hope it's all worth it and we have a good turnout.
This is Tanner's way of helping...he's 'washing' everything in sight.

These are the before pictures....or the during....and there's more to come. Not sure where it's going to go. LOL

Timmy's 10!

I can't believe it. I mean, seriously....all parents say that when their kids have birthday or reach milestones, but it really is amazing when I stop to think. It was 10 yrs. ago today that I was sitting in the hospital with my 1 day old new baby boy. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it. Not because I'm sad it's gone, although time does fly and make one miss those days, but because I'm so amazed at the boy he's become and the boy he's becoming. He's wild and crazy and loud and great...because he's also helpful, sweet, compassionate, and so affectionate. He'd give me a hug, with a kiss of course, every 5 minutes if he could. He tells me he loves me as much as all the other boys combined...and they tell me everyday. I've been his first 'girlfriend' for quite a while now. Hey, I'll take it as long as I can.
Last night we went to Stillwater with Helen and her kids and to Leo's diner. It was good food and we had fun. We walked around a bit and climbed the stairs to the top of the cliffside. They thought that was pretty fun.
I'm mostly excited for Friday. We have invited some of Timmy's friends over for a surprise party and sleepover. I can't wait to see his face...esp. since he has been so sad about not getting a party. He say's I promised him one and that it's been 5 yrs. since his last one. I could hardly stand to look him in the eye on Monday and tell him that we just couldn't this year and that I would try and make it up to him this summer with a sleepover. I seriously almost wanted to tell him, he was so upset. It will all be worth it to see his face when he walks in the door and sees his friends. I will have some fun pictures that day.

Memories

It occurred to me today that it wouldn't be a bad idea to write about some of the funny things the boys have done from time to time. I wish I would have listened to my mom and wrote it all down when it actually happened. Gosh, what I wouldn't do for a journal of all the things that made us laugh over the years. It's really true what they say about each child having less and less memories about them around the house. Tyler and Timmy both have a baby book with a lot of stuff written in it, esp. Tyler's, Trae HAS a book....I just don't think there is anything really in it. Tony and Tanner don't even have one. :( Bad mommy!
Here are some of the recent classics I was thinking about.
Summer, 2008....We were in the car going to the zoo and Timmy asked me who fought in the Civil War. I explained to him, in my most teachery voice, that it was a war between the north and south parts of America and that the south wanted the black people to stay slaves and the people in the north wanted them to be free. I finished my best explanation and continued to drive. Within a minute, Trae, who was obviously in deep thought about what I had just told them, said "so it's a good thing then for Mindy....ya know....that the north won....ya know, for Mindy..." He said it almost hesitantly, but it was very clear what he was saying. I looked at his innocent and totally sincere face and couldn't help myself....I held back a laugh as I said..."you mean because she has dark skin?" "yah" Well, by now, I couldn't even fake it anymore....I was laughing so hard, I was crying. I said, "honey, she's still considered white" Hahaha!!!!!!! He was a bit embarrassed at this point..I just kept saying I'm sorry, honey. The vision of Mindy and her dark skin and Trae thinking that if she had lived 100 yrs. ago, she'd be a slave was just too much humor for me to contain. I called Mindy the first chance I got (along with everybody else in the family) and she could barely come up for air. Ahh...good times.

Winter 2009......I was in the kitchen with Tanner when I bent down to pick something up. Tanner says "mom, you have a big butt". Um..thanks? "gradma has a big butt too" HA! I said, "well, that's okay though, right?? We're still good people, right?" "Yah" Then I thought about it....he probably doesn't even know that this isn't a nice thing to say to a person...to him, it's just a fact. A depressing fact, but a fact none the less. So I said, "Ya know, Tanner, people don't like to hear that they have a big butt, it makes them feel bad. They would rather hear that they have a little butt. Okay?" "Okay". Done.
Fast forward about a week. I'm in my room picking up some clothes when my little truth teller is behind me once again. Only this time....."mom, you got a little butt" Holding back a bust out laugh "well, thank you, Tanner"......"grandma's got a big butt too" HAHA!!! Couldn't hold it back after that one. Called mom right away of course, and she thought it was hilarious. Hey, truth hurts...but sometimes I can be downright hysterical!

There's always the classic Timmy pronouncing his "F" as a "CH". This was most funny the night when he and Trae were running around in a circle through the living room and Timmy yells to Trae, "Chaster, Trae, Chaster" Or also the time I said something to tease him and he put his hands on his hips and said "Ha, Ha, very chunny" HA! Too darn cute!

It was also Timmy who was so excited about the fact that he was finally out of diapers that he decided to share it with everybody. This included the man sitting 3 rows behind us at church one morning...he turned around and said "Um, hello, hello....me wearing underwear" The tone of his voice in announcing this was the best part of the story...I hope I can always remember how that went. It was priceless.

How about when Jason was in Iraq so Trae would have been about 2. He was being so naughty in church that I started to walk out to the back and he yelled so everyone could hear him...."I don't want a spanking..." Oh Lord, nice. HA!

There are a million more and I think I'll keep posting them as I remember them. Hey, better late than never.

Decluttering

It's amazing how much stuff one family can accumulate in a short time. We were going to have a garage sale next weekend, but quickly realized yesterday that there was no way we'd be ready, so we're putting it off one more weekend. Half the garage is already full of stuff including things that a lot of ppl have brought over for us to sell. We put word out that we were having the sale as a fundraiser and got a good response. I hope we can get a good amount of change to make all this work worthwhile.
Last night, I read the book "You Are Special" by Max Lucado to the boys. It was recommended to me by Annie when I had told her about the trouble Tyler was having at school with the kids. It was a really good book and the boys really liked it. Tyler got it right away....he knew why I had gotten it and why I was reading it. Allowing God to be the one who values us and not letting others put us down and doubt ourselves is so hard and so important at the same time. I hope he can do that.
I only have 2 kids this morning (along with Tanner) and so I'm tempted to go do something somewhere, but I realize that this would be a really good opportunity to get a lot of things done for the sale. We'll see if common sense wins out over procrastination.

Decisions, Decisions...

We are so excited and anxious to get the adoption process started, but have begun to have some reservations about when exactly we should do it.
On one hand, the sooner, the better....on the other hand, it can't happen too soon for financial reasons.
When we listened to the webinar last week, they said that once a home study is done (around 4 mos.) that the longest it's ever taken a person to get their referral is 6 mos....the LONGEST. Wow...that would mean less than a year from start to finish.
I have this ideal time frame in which I think this should happen (end of next summer or early fall of 2010 would be perfect), but I'm trying to stay realistic and realize that I can't control this, and that, actually, I shouldn't try and control this. I have to believe...no I DO believe that God has a plan for us with this process and that He has a child for us that He's orchestrated since before I even met Jason. My main concern is that things go so fast that we won't be ready with the money needed at the end. I do not want to have to pause or delay the process because of that, so all I can do it trust. Trust the process, trust my gut, and mostly....trust God, that He will show us the way.